GROVE CITY, OH — Residents in favor of bringing marijuana dispensaries to Grove City say it’s time the town embraced a bold new aroma to complement its existing landfill bouquet. “Right now it’s all hot trash and mystery broth,” said local advocate Shane P., lighting a citrus-scented candle under his nose. “Adding skunk weed could turn this into a total smell disaster.” Opponents argue that dispensaries would only worsen the town’s olfactory profile, which currently ranks somewhere between burning mulch and expired hoagie depending on wind direction. ...

GROVE CITY, OH — In an ambitious display of Midwestern humility, a brand-new Grove City satire website has launched, proudly touting itself as “basically The Babylon Bee, if The Babylon Bee was written on a Chromebook in a basement, fueled entirely by Transcend coffee.” The anonymous creator says the project’s mission is simple: “We noticed Grove City had no dedicated satire outlet, and frankly, we intend to keep it that way. This is more of a hobby.” ...