DOWNTOWN BROADWAY, GROVE CITY — In a stunning display of civic engagement, dozens of local residents turned out this weekend for the inaugural Grove City Complainers Parade, proudly marching down Broadway while airing grievances about everything from potholes to the weather.
The parade, organized entirely on Facebook comment threads, featured handmade signs reading “SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING” and “WHY ISN’T THIS DONE YET”.
When asked what solutions they might propose, 45-year-old Randy, wearing cargo shorts and a Bluetooth earpiece from 2009, replied, “What do you mean ‘I should do something about it’?”
“You know,” this reporter clarified, “like invest in your community, volunteer, run for office, pick up litter, donate to charity — literally anything.”
Randy responded by plopping onto the sidewalk, flailing his arms, and declaring loudly, “I’m a helpless baby! Wah wah! I need a diapy change!”
Fellow marchers applauded the outburst, chanting “SOMEONE ELSE! SOMEONE ELSE!” as a girl scout troop quietly cleaned up behind the parade route.
Parade organizers later posted on the city’s Facebook group demanding to know why the event photos hadn’t been uploaded yet, adding, “Doesn’t anyone do their job anymore?”
Plans for next year’s Complainers Parade are already underway — assuming someone else handles it.
