GROVE CITY — In a bold show of efficiency over the most microscopic amount of effort, a local Facebook group member once again typed the ceremonial phrase “Please delete if not allowed” rather than scrolling the three-quarters of an inch required to view the prominently pinned group rules.

The group rules, which consist of three bullet points (“No ads,” “No politics,” and “Be normal”), were positioned directly above the post in question.

The message itself? A direct advertisement, political in nature, and arguably the opposite of “normal.”

When reached for comment, moderator Carol G. did not mince words:

“Yeah, we’ll delete it if it’s not allowed. That is literally our whole job. We didn’t need the polite disclaimer as a heads-up. It’s not a spell. We’re not bound to the post now.”

Carol continued while holding what witnesses describe as “the look of a person who has seen some things in local Facebook groups.”

“We can’t even tell if it’s allowed, because we can’t tell what it is,” Carol said. “It’s like moderating a riddle written by a blender.”

The poster’s message was removed within 14 minutes, after which the same user posted an identical message to three other community groups, each preemptively shielded behind the protective charm.

please delete if not allowed but were having a SAVE AMERICA PATRIOT FREEDO CANDLE SALE this Sat by where the old Kmart was (before they closed it for reasons and everyone pretending like they dont no what I mean 🙄) anyways THIS IS NOT A MLM its just I get bonuses if u sign up under me and then your ppl sign up under them which is how BUSINESS WORKS if u ever took econ or whatever we have new sents:

  • Bald Eagle Strengh
  • 1776 Lavendar (Smells like LIBERTY)
  • Wake Up Sheeple (apple cinnoman but spirtual)

ALSO we are RECALLING THE MAYOR bc of the incodent yall remember so if your registered or EVEN IF YOUR NOT just show up we will help u fill out the forms its not hard ppl just make it hard ALSO ALSO my brother in law is raffling his truck (STOP ASKING ABOUT THE TITLE. we KNOW the law better then SOME of you “Facebook lawyers” on here) cash venimo zelle or trade if I know u personally but not if your related to SHARON in anyway
DO NOT COMMENT HERE I dont always see comments so just DM ME and I’ll reply or I wont depends whats going on

Three commenters attempted to summarize it and accidentally started three separate arguments.