GROVE CITY, OH — Local man Thon Vesper, who has spent the last six months publicly criticizing nearly every business within a 20-mile radius on Facebook, is reportedly “shocked” and “deeply confused” that none of those businesses are calling him back about job applications.
“I just don’t get it,” said Thon, while typing a 700-word post about how Big Joe’s Tire and Lube is “a front for incompetence and corporate greed.” “I’ve applied everywhere—Kroger, Moo Moo, even that one boutique with the decorative chickens. No callbacks. Nothing. Just silence.”
When asked if he thought calling the manager of a local coffee shop a “brain-dead donut clown” in a public thread might impact his hiring chances, Thon scoffed. “That’s just freedom of speech. If they don’t like feedback, maybe they shouldn’t be in business.”
One hiring manager noted, ‘We just don’t think someone who yelled ‘I hope this place sinks into the earth’ during an interview is the right fit.’ Also, he filled out the ‘Desired Salary’ field with ‘More than Jeff makes.’ We don’t know who Jeff is."
A copy of his cover letter obtained by reporters included the line: “Dear Hiring Manager, I am exactly what your company needs: someone who isn’t afraid to tell you everything you’re doing wrong.”
At press time, Thon had launched his own business, “Hire Me Or Else LLC,” and left it a 1-star review.
