Golden Corral Patrons Vote to Replace Chocolate Fountain With Hand Sanitizer Fountain
STRINGTOWN RD — After one too many incidents involving double-dipping, full-hand immersion, and finger-licking follow-throughs, diners at the Golden Corral on Stringtown Rd have reached a breaking point. In a dramatic yet sticky town-hall-style vote held near the yeast rolls station, patrons overwhelmingly supported a resolution to replace the iconic chocolate fountain with an industrial-grade hand sanitizer dispenser. “It’s a sad day,” said regular patron Marvin L., staring wistfully at the now-drained fountain while wiping ranch dressing off his wrist. “But watching a grown man lick his fingers clean, then go wrist-deep for a strawberry was the last straw. You ever see someone fish out a marshmallow bare-handed, licking between every grab? I have. It changes you.” ...