A woman sits in a doctor’s waiting room, pretending to read a magazine while everyone else glares; her purse on the floor glows or vibrates violently as sound waves radiate from it.

Woman Pretends Not to Hear Phone Screaming Like a Fire Alarm for Full Minute in Doctor's Waiting Room

COLUMBUS, OH — Patients awaiting their appointments were treated to an unplanned soundscape Tuesday when a woman’s phone erupted with a ringtone described by witnesses as “somewhere between a car alarm and a wounded smoke detector.” Despite the piercing sound filling the room, the woman in question appeared committed to her performance of complete ignorance. She continued flipping through a six-month-old People magazine, eyes locked on an article about Ben Affleck’s coffee habits, while her phone blared from deep within her purse. ...

October 14, 2025 · 2 min · 239 words · Editor-in-chief, Grove City Growler
An obnoxious man annoying people with loud music from his car

Blasting Music at Full Volume, Local Man Clearly Late for Brain Surgery He's Performing

GROVE CITY, OH — Residents of Grove City were once again in the presence of staggering intellect Thursday morning as 24-year-old Bryce T. rolled through town in his 2009 Dodge Charger, broadcasting bass so loud it dislodged a school crossing sign and at least two memories. Witnesses confirmed that the music could be heard three intersections away — a clear indicator that Bryce was on his way to perform emergency brain surgery, present groundbreaking AI research, or possibly negotiate world peace. ...

August 12, 2025 · 2 min · 214 words · Editor-in-chief, Grove City Growler